Gifts
by Rachel Baumgartner
Editor's Note: Rachel, a survivor of a rare sarcoma called Askin's tumor, has shared some of her poems with us before (see Poems Along the Way). She now gives us several more gifts: three of her poems and two of her drawings.
Spots
December 9th, 2006
Spots-
Good on a shirt
Or a dog
Bad on an x-ray-
An x-ray of mine
In my lung
By my tumor beds
And they are new
Bad when they puzzle
The doctors
Most of all
Why or how I have
Not been as upset
As expected
Escapes me
It is easier
To ignore
Than go "there"-
To the scariest place
I know.
Wondering
December 10, 2006
Sometimes when I am walking around
I think and wonder
What others might perceive
When they look at me
Or through me
I forget that my hair is long
Sometimes I still feel
Like that bald-headed cancer girl
My self confidence was damaged
All those years of stares and whispers
Rumors and so much missed
The deep scars and memories remain
They are just more hidden these days.
A Miraculous Gift
April 19, 2007
Life-
So complex, yet so simple
So many wonders
And disappointments
It does not stop
When I need to catch my breath
It keeps going and going
So much to do
I use way more energy
Than I have in me
But I must do it
This way
Because my life here,
My time here,
Is precious-
A miraculous gift
From above
Pain
This is a charcoal and pencil drawing about the pain and scared feelings
I felt this summer when they found a spot in my back and
I thought maybe I was relapsing.
Beautiful
This is a drawing of a bald woman with my "personal symbol", a dragonfly
on her head. It's actually the exact dragonfly on my favorite ring
(besides my engagement one).
Copyright © 2007 Rachel Baumgartner