My friend has been diagnosed with sarcoma. How can I help?
It is difficult to watch a friend suffer. The good news is: there are things that you can do to help. In fact, your help is needed, whether you are a close friend or a neighbor.
Many sarcoma patients have difficulty taking care of their basic needs and handling the financial and emotional strain of this life-changing diagnosis. Your support can make such a difference in your friend's daily life, and can affect his or her level of hope and happiness.
Just do Something!
Most sarcoma patients agree on one point: don't ask how you can help, just DO something! An offer to help is best when it doesn't require the patient to think or choose.
Patients and their families often have a hard time answering the question: "What can I do?" If they answer with a specific need, they feel as if they are imposing or asking too much. So take the guilt out of a gift by choosing something yourself. Here are some useful gift ideas that were developed by a group of sarcoma patients and survivors:
- Give gift cards for restaurants, gasoline, necessities, groceries, or a family outing.
- Offer to bring a meal on a specific night. If there are children in the household, choose something that most kids like, or bring a child-friendly dish and an adult dish.
- Pick up some groceries and drop them by the house.
- Call and offer a few free hours to do some household chores. This assistance is greatly appreciated, but patients usually do not feel comfortable asking.
- Offer to keep the children on a specific night so the patient can rest or go out.
- Take pictures when visiting. Be insistent! The photos will be valuable to the patient or family members later.
- Offer to take the patient to treatment on a specific day or week.
- Find out if your friend has a notebook for keeping track of treatment-related issues. If not, you can print and give him the Sarcoma Patient Starter Notebook or the Sarcoma Survivor Starter Notebook.
- When appropriate, bring some laughter into the situation. If you find your friend in a silly mood, join in the fun. Or drop by with a funny video or audiobook. Laughter and silliness can provide a sense of balance for someone who spends a lot of time in the serious "cancer world."
- If you are good with finances or insurance issues, offer to help the patient organize medical bills, deal with the insurance company and arrange payments.
- If there are many community members willing to help, become a "volunteer coordinator" by keeping a schedule of visits, meals, and childcare. There is a free online tool at Lotsa Helping Hands to help with this task.
- Offer to start a web page for the patient and update it for friends and family to read online, or suggest that the patient try it. My Lifeline has been developed specifically for cancer patients and has a lot of great features. CaringBridge is also popular.
- Volunteer to put together a fund-raiser for the family. If you have no expertise in this area, ask other friends for ideas. Once you have a general plan, propose it to the patient for approval. This is a great way for the community to come together and do something that a family would not do for themselves, even if they desperately need it.
- Hold an event like a local Team Sarcoma in the patient's honor. We recommend a sarcoma-specific event because sarcomas are rare, and there is a great need for increased awareness and research funds.
The article was submitted by the ABC Survivors support group.